Growing Up Noble

I had a hard time trying to decide on how to label this post. I have two specific category labels that it would fit. One is Growing Up Noble and one is Teaching From Becoming A T2W. So I decided to do what any self-respecting, wordy blogger would do in this dilemma--name it one label and categorize it under the other. Clever-eh?

Blogging about this topic is going to take some work on my part. Many of my previous posts are just ramblings of this and that and here or there. Nothing organized or certainly grammatically correct--but that's not the main goal. The main goal is to convey ideas that are dancing around in this mini-ocean I call a brain. Thoughts and (sometimes) weighty pressings that I feel the Holy Spirit places on my heart to chew over again, and again, and again, and again, and again--very appropriate for an Iowan girl to have cow-like tendencies.

But this post will take some thought to really get across what I'd like to say and if I fail in any part--it could really bomb. Not that other posts haven't bombed, but this could really be a doosey.

I'll start with this...a quote from a previous beloved Pastor back in our urban Chicago days. Pastor Bertsche married Scott and me when we attended Moody Memorial Church. He counseled us one day a week for 9 weeks straight (standard counseling session--had nothing to do with the amount of counseling that we needed--well, at least in Scott's case.) Bertsche (soon to be Doctor Bertsche) made a huge impact on us in many ways and we would love to have him be in our lives on a regular basis--but as in all good things--sometimes they have to come to an end. Anyway, I digress. Here's his quote from our counseling session:

"A parent's truest success is not in raising children who become doctors or lawyers or teachers or even function well in society. The truest measure of success for a parent is that their child(ren) gave their life defending the name of Jesus Christ." That has always stuck with me. It is an awesome statement and one that haunts me to this day. Everything that I have done as a parent; all that I have prayed; everything that I have read in the name of parenting--has carried that mark and by the grace of God--my children will come to value that their Mommy desired for them not that they would succeed by the world's standards, but that they literally died for the name of Jesus Christ.

Pastor Bertsche also challenged us that we need to raise them to leave the home. That should always be the main focus of parenting. They are not ours, they are God's. The tighter grip we have on them; the less of a grip they will have on God. Oh sure! They can regurgitate with the best of them, but that is all it is--pure imitation of us. Until we loosen our grip, their hands will clutch tight to the ones they see providing for them.

So as you can see, if I don't clearly explain myself, it can really look like I desire that my children would be underachieving, non-functional thugs that end up dead on the streets in Africa. Not quite a MOTY (Mother-of-the-Year) award moment--wouldn't you say?

How has this looked in our home? There are some small, very insignificant activities we try to acheive in any given day, but hopefully all will amount to seeding and watering on ground that is tilled and fertilized by the only Farmer that counts, for the Kingdom of God.

1) Devotions. Devotional time is of the utmost. Reading, memorizing and explaining scripture is foremost.

2) Learning hymns. Christian songs (some of them anyway) are great, but it's the hymns that are the rock-solid, standing-the-test-of-time music that will help carry them through the trials in their lives.

3) Discipline. Yes, there's that nasty, controversial word that no one likes to use, yet the bible is clear. If your child isn't controlled enough to teach, then nothing that you teach will help him with self-control.

4) Teaching. The handmaiden of discipline. It's like peanut butter cups. You can't have one without the other unless you'll end up with just chocolate or just peanut butter--just wrong!

5) Regular church attendance. Attending a healthy (not perfect) church that teaches sound doctrine is an essential.

6) Active involvement in our local church. While this wouldn't be the main reason that we are involved, this certainly has provided many opportunities for our children to see what homegrown ministry is all about. Imperfect humans relating to imperfect humans on a daily basis--growing in love, being sanctified, practicing humility, forgiving and being forgiven. All great activities for the watchful eyes of our impressionable (possibly missions-minded) children.

7) Homeschool. We don't believe that people who homeschool are better Christians, we just believe that for our family, it is a way for us to be able to encourage our children toward the adult goals we have in mind for them.

8) Learn an instrument. What better way to encourage your child toward a fruitful, enduring ministry than to learn how to play an instrument--preferably in a style that doesn't make you boogie too much?

9) Hard work. Our children have chores, lots of chores. What is the worse kind of help that could possibly come to a missions field? A worker sent that doesn't like to work--indoors or out.

10) Picky eaters. Not allowed. Period. End of story. None of our children have ever been allowed to be picky eaters. Whether in survival mode or cultural mode, we would hope that fried chicken and boiled frog legs would be met with equal zeal. Of course, we don't expect all foods to be like that. We know that given there is quite a variety out there--it would be impossible, but if we can lay a good foundation for "eating what's in front of them," then we've pushed them one step closer toward a stranger lifestyle.

11) Discernment. I pray that Scott and I have the type of discernment that will see past the words and attitudes that my children like to mirror now; and will open up my ears and eyes to what is really in their heart. (Although, I realize I will only see in part.) Likewise, I equally pray that the Lord will deafen and blind my child to the numerous mistakes that I make with them.

It's a beginner's list. There are quite a few smaller details that we try to involve our kids in, but this is a springboard to the deep, missional-mind waters that we hope our kids will be open to swimming in. We're not saying that this is the only path that God will lead them on, but what we are saying is that if it is--this might possibly be the hardest path they will encounter and we want them to be well-equipped at home for it.

To be clear, we aren't trying to manufacture little pastors or missionaries. We just want to wisely redeem our time with them and give them every opportunity to be missions-minded so if the call comes in, they won't have to fight some of the external reasons of why not to go.

I'll leave you with a snippet that I pulled from the Desiring God blog. I've already posted the whole article and sent it around to every single woman that I could think of that even breathed the name Jesus Christ, as I thought it was pretty powerful and enriching stuff. In it was a quote from a 13 year old--her name is Esther. She says a very powerful statement that immediately gave me a jolt of renewed enthusiasm for the single vision of what we want our children to look like when they are older. This would be about as close as any scenario that I can think of:

Gladys and Esther Staines

The opposite of a wimpy woman is Gladys Staines who in 1999, after serving with her husband Graham in India for three decades learned that he and their two sons, Phillip (10) and Timothy (6), had been set on fire and burned alive by the very people they had served for 34 years, said, “I have only one message for the people of India. I’m not bitter. Neither am I angry. Let us burn hatred and spread the flame of Christ’s love.”

The opposite of a wimpy woman is her 13-year-old daughter Esther (rightly named!) who said, when asked how she felt about her father’s murder, “I praise the Lord that He found my father worthy to die for Him.”

Would my children praise God for taking us if the circumstances were deemed an immature and unwarranted death? I pray that they would and moreso, I pray that what I have taught them is a high view and totally dependency toward God and an absolute low view and dependent-less of their parents.

Matthew 10:37-39 "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it."

Luke 14:26-27, "If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.

May it truly be my heart's desire that I am raising my children to "hate" me as it directly ties into their enduring and undying love for Christ as Lord and Owner of everything--including my three blessings.