Endurance Is Not For the Faint of Heart

I wish I had a "Paul." Now those of you who know me, know that I am absolutely, one hundred percent in love with my appointed husband, Scott Noble. So to be perfectly clear and concise, wishing for a "Paul" does not include a physical man named Paul. Indulge me.

II Timothy 4:7, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith;"

The other day, my oldest son was wearing his T-shirt with these words on it. It started me on a line of thinking that intersected with my current mental trial (please see previous post.) I don't have a Paul in my life. I guess it would be more fair (and more godly) to say, I don't really have a "Paul-a" in my life. Someone who is regenerated and has fought through countless physical and mental trials and; by His grace, has endured. Someone with an incredible hunger for theology and doctrine; knowing that any foundation of service is built on an endless knowledge of the Triune God. This woman would have an unquenchable thirst for sound teaching, a genuine grasp for the pinpoint accuracy of biblical doctrine, and a huge vocabulary of theological terms. My "Paul-a" would understand the importance of these and how a passion for seminary-level knowledge builds a fortified strength and belief system that can withstand the modern day shipwreck, beatings, false imprisonments and yes, even the occasional modern-day stoning. II Corinthians 11:23-28.

The Apostle Paul wrote II Timothy later on in his apostolic career. To say that he had already suffered a lot would be quite the understatement; but it's true. He wrote this letter while imprisoned in Rome at a time when there was mass desertion of so-called disciples. But more than just a knowledgeable character, he practiced with consuming passion, all that he knew and taught. He was the imperfect, human model of humility. He loved with the kind of love that saturated his life and gave him the rare ability to see his church plants as his children. His patience with the sheep that he shepherd was limitless and he taught with the kind of long-suffering and endurance that was only built out of his clear understanding of who Christ was and who he was without Christ. And as a thanks for all of his work, a lot of his disciples left him. So what kept him going?

This is where I started building my perfect Titus 2 "Paul-a." I started thinking of her factory built-ins. I started detailing in my mind, what I thought she would spiritually look like; possess and desire. The list just kept getting longer, but ultimately, I knew that she would practice her knowledge with such preciseness and complete discernment that it could only be attributed to the true domination of the Holy Spirit that resided in her.

I realize this is quite a fantasy I have going on. But I am beginning to think that the desire that should grow inside every Titus 2 woman has that harmonious blend of knowledge and practice. The Proverbs 31 woman had it. Notice in Proverbs 31:26--this single verse embodies knowledge and practice of a godly, Titus woman who knows the complete scriptures by the wisdom and kindness she teaches. Where is she getting this wisdom? Any Proverbs 31 woman knows that the only wisdom is the wisdom that comes from fearing the Lord. She can only know to fear the Lord by reading His statutes and commandments--the bible.

There are a lot of women with either, but not both. Women who know so much head knowledge, but to see the practice in their lives is somewhat discouraging. Likewise, there are kind, faithful, loving women who wouldn't be able to simply distinguish between pneumotology and soteriology. That is equally discouraging.

Which brings me to the example of Paul. I can't imagine being taught by this man or being one of his first disciples. To see this man in action must have been pretty amazing....yet I guess there were many who remained unimpressed. Many who deserted. Those who were not as dazzled by this man's intelligence and abilities as I have been. So it leaves me to wonder what is the difference between those who imitate him (as he imitates Christ--I Corinthians 11:1) and those who sit under his teaching; read his letters first-hand; have visual knowledge of his earthly ministries; and yet defect?

The difference is endurance. To have a lasting ministry takes the divine factor that none of us called to know and serve can ever attain without the Triune God. I'm realizing that endurance is what separates the 'boys from the men'; 'girls from the gals.' Growing up in church and now being privileged to serve in my local church, I have had enough experience with professed believers to know that everyone has their proverbial shipwrecks, imprisonments, lashings, beatings and a plethora of other hardships. When you're dealing with humans on a regular basis, that is going to happen. We all have things that we think are the absolute worst thing that can happen to us and no one else understands me, me, me; but God, in His absolute detailed care of us, shows us that He does understand and allows human relationships (both joyous and sorrowful) to sanctify us; while we work out our salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12-13) In fact, those proverbial stonings have their place--read James 1:2-3. Trials produce endurance.

I realize now that the importance of the local church and why Paul's heart for healthy church plants was so that professed believers could be sanctified and produce endurance. In a healthy, imperfect church--there are enough sanctifying, heart-wrenching, gut-tearing afflictions that even if you're minimally involved, you will experience them.

In my lifetime, I've seen enough people quit church. I've heard a lot of excuses of why they don't go to church. Hypocrites, cold shoulders, lack of caring, polity run amok and the list goes on and on of so-called reasons. But if you're not a part of a healthy local church, then you cannot endure. Unhealthy churches without sound doctrine do not endure. The bible is clear. Matthew 24:35--everything else in and on this earth will pass away, except for His word.

So endurance is not for the faint of heart; and a solid foundation on that which does not pass away can only fortify and build an enduring heart, like the one Paul had. And where does my "Paul-a" fit in? Well, so far, the bible's Paul has been my "Paul-a." His writings have kept me going when other trials loom large and tangle with my mind and heart. His writings have been closest to me when the lashing of human service have marked me. No local church is perfect. It is without a doubt that those that think they are, will fall.

But what my "Paul-a" would tell me would be that a healthy local church that preaches sound doctrine will endure because it is based on God's word. "Paul-a" would tell me that to quit the church is to quit being sanctified by the best sharpening tool imaginable. That true endurance can only be produced by those with long-lasting relationships that are called to forgive and forget in the midst of sin, human folly and even defection. (II Timothy 4:11) "Paul-a" would tell me to be on guard for there are wolves and tares in a healthy church that desire to see it's downfall. And finally, "Paul-a" would exhort me to learn, love and mature in all aspects of the faith (Ephesians 4:15) so that I might have the privilege of being a "Paul-a" to a young "me" some day.

I am learning over time that my truest desire is not that my own small Gentile ministry at home or small temporary church plant (which they participate in everything, but tithing--still searching scripture to figure out a way to implement church discipline!) would remember a Mom that could toothbrush clean or spend hours combing rug fibers to make them lay flat; but would remember their Mom as someone who had an all-consuming passion to grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ her Lord and used those gifts to build up her home ministry and the local church for the long haul.